prosthesis

Youre fucked.

http://www.totse.com/en/drugs/miscellaneous_drug_information/163680.html

"Nothing, I repeat nothing that you take internally will help you. Vinegar will change the pH only if it is added to the piss, not if you drink it. Besides, they check the pH of your sample and if it's outside of a certain range it is an automatic fail [they figure that it will only happen if you are trying to rig the test]. I've been doing the test thing for almost 20 years, so you can damn well believe what I say. Let's see if I can make this clear: They do not test for the presence of drugs. They are testing for the presence of drug metabolites, which are the by-products your body makes from the drugs as it processes them."

You will pass with this.

Years ago my hubby had to pass one and we bought a bottle of niacin(pills). Just a vitamin....he took bunches of that along with the lots of water drinking and was so clean he had to come back and do it again! *warning* larger doses of niacin makes you look kinda red and feel kinda itchy! :) (sorta like a very temporary sunburn)

oh, and it's very inexpensive,too! unlike those "pass your pee test" kits....

i was stoned shortly before my last drug test, i drank a bottle of goldenseal & drank lots & lots of water (like til my kidneys hurt) & i passed. always have a gallon of water in yer hand & keep drinking til you piss clear. also try to avoid taking that test first thing in the morning. it tends to be pretty yellow whan you first wake up from all the impurities yer filtering out. get that one out of the way, keep chugging water & blast out the second or third of the day for the test.

i second stevil's suggestion. while i've never had to do it myself, i've had friends that followed those steps and passed.

it's impossible to pass a hair strand test though.

cool. pretty much confirmed what i had believed. knew it was the metabolites and shit.

my plan is to drink the fuck out of water and take these urinary infection pills called "azo" they make your piss such a dark hue of orange that can stain porcelian.. so with all the water it should dilute it to a nice yellow color. i'll take my vitamins and creatine shortly before the test aswell to help add something to my piss since it'll pretty much be yellow water

you could also try water pills a couple of days before the test if your having trouble going and don't want to gorge on water..

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-water-pills.htm

if diuretics are detected in your system, it can always be explained away as a weight loss drug which some people use them for.

I have friends that swear by Niacin, though I can't say if it actually works. All I know is that you have to take large amounts and it can make you sick.

@Stevil- unless you are a regular smoker, you can be stoned pretty close to a test and pass. I hadn't smoked in a year, then spent a weekend getting ripped and took a pee test that Monday. Passed with flying colors. I TOLD them I'd smoked a shitload over the weekend and why didn't it show and they said it takes a while to build up in your system. So on that note, if you ARE a regular, spend at least 3 days with your water jug and whatever vitamin aid you choose! :)

I've never had to take a piss test.

Careful with the niacin(bad for the liver) and careful with the water (bad for the kidneys).

Let us know how things go.

plz follow up with if your scheme worked

The "fake" urine I've read can be detected in the tests.

I did a vitamin C flush, big glass of water, C tab, water, C tab, every 15 minutes for as long as tolerable and passed one, but keep in mind I was far from a heavy user. You could always get someone's clean pee, I doubt they'll be holding your dick for you.

Welcome to the War on (Some) Drugs.

BUY A MAC

oh wait sorry wrong sanctimonious one-liner. DON'T SMOKE POT

Just bribe the drug tester.

When I did a drug test I was allowed to close the door to the bathroom.
Just put someone elses drugfree urine in a bottle and use that. Make sure its warm.

THC leaves the body in 3 to 90 days. You might get lucky.

untill 2 months ago i went through a quarter of kind bud a week. i've probably smoked 5 times in the past 2 months though.

my volcano vaporizer has sat cold and lonely, i know it misses me =(

fucking off duty cop busted me smoking a joint while playing disc golf. its a heavily wooded course so its not like i was out in the open. her german shepherd ran up to me and was wagging its tail so i gave him a pat on the head, when she came to get the dog she noticed the joint i hadn't bothered to hide because EVERYONE smokes pot and that goes double for fuckers on the disc golf course.

so i was offered a pre-trial diversion program. pay a bunch of money, go to a bunch of bullshit classes, yada yada, no court and no charge on my record.

i was already given one piss test that i was expected to fail. afterwards they told me i must have been smoking all day and just stopped right before pissing because they were the 'hottest' test results they ever had.

but my last bullshit class is monday and i have to take the exit exam. i hope i can either pass it or my levels be so diminished it looks like i haven't touched it for 2 months.

don't do this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAijBzGi4eo

when i was being tested, i would buy a drink at this vitamin store. it was called 'the stuff'. there's also a drink at gnc nutrition center that will clean your body of toxins.

the other alternate method is using the fake cock with someone else's piss.

stall for more detox time-

poo in it, saying you got confused over directions.

Piss..bass?

lol @ Senior Fluffy

I don't really have any advice at this time, but I'll be looking for a new job soon so it might come up. :) Good luck.

I used some sort of product called Test Clean or Test Pure or something like that... back in 1997. I was a heavy throughout-the-day-everyday kinda smoker. But I also put three weeks between me and the drug test. Anyway, I passed. So it's hard to say if that stuff will work on short notice with no break.

Quote:

it's impossible to pass a hair strand test though.

But you can sure try!

Hmmm..maybe someone smarter, more "sciency" or just more internet-search-patient can tell me...would there be a difference in how your body accepts the green when you smoke it or vaporize it? As far as where the evidence lands, I mean? Does this question make sense?????? I've only ever smoked and wonder if there would be some kind of (even slight) difference?

no

one thing im certain about is that there is a difference in the amount of particulates that get inhaled and trapped in your lungs/mucus

vaporizers are definitely healthier way of smoking pot

my totally uneducated theory... self tested but there's probably a subconcious bias since i spent 600 dollars on the vaporizer... is that the vaporizer gets you higher... the uneducated hypothesis is that a lighter... with a flame burns at over 1000 degrees.. and my vap is probably at most 450 degrees... so my totally uneducated guess would be that the flame of your bic or 'cherry' on your joint breaks down the fun chemicals more than the hot air of a vaporizer

taking the same size nugs.. i can pack a bowl and smoke it by myself through a pipe. but when i take that same size nug.. grind it, run it through my vaporizer, filling up a 2.5 gallon balloon/bag thingy, i can't even finish it by myself and im stoned out of my gourd. i can then re-grind the shit i ran through the vaporizer once and vaporize it again, filling the bag a 2nd time with smoke just as potent as the first 'burn'.... sometimes when i get really good kind bud i can vaporize the same bowl 3 times before it's cashed

i've had the vaporizer for 3 years. Volcano made it. its a solid investment. i still use a pipe or paper or bong when away from home but the vaporizer is a beast. trust me... my stoner friends come over just to use it because its so badass. if you smoke KB you're wasting your money if you don't have one

You guys should just move to Amsterdam. Closer to EBM also.

"You guys should just move to Amsterdam. Closer to EBM also."

Good point. Or any country with sane drug laws, really.

missionary: better taste/less harshness, less carcinogens, extends your stash.

I haven't smoked in ages though...I only like Sativa, and most the shit out there seems to just be indica now or a blend, probably because it's easier to grow and avoid detection..the McDonalds of weed. Indica makes me feel like shit and like eating everything in sight. No thanks.

If only it were regulated, Sativa really helped me.

Does a medicinal marijuana card get you out of a drug test?

LOL piss tests are the easiest thing to pass :)

Water, Vitamin B12, Vitamin E and more water.

when i was 15 i got some sativa seeds from my friends father who grew this shit he called 'black african sensimelia" (spelling) in his basement. complete hydro setup with hylide lights and high pressure sodium lamps. it was all hooked up to a computer that circulated the air, controlled humidity, filled the tubes with water and emptied them on a schedule. was the most awesome set i've ever seen. he was some digger (like hippies i think) that got hurt and sued the train company for 5 million dollars. he also had pictures of his wife posing in front of a field of ganja bigger than any cane field i've ever seen, and I'm surrounded by em.

oh yeah. but back to the sativa seed. my buddy never told me anything about em. so we planted them. they grew into motherfucking weed trees. really.. like 15 feet tall trees.. and in idaho there isn't anything that grows that tall .. they were these big weed towers amongst all the sage and shit.. it was hilarious

i too wish there were a greater variety in the pot available. the munches are fucking killer... means i have to drink less beer and lift weights more.

fuck amsterdam. staying in the states where the money is at for another 20 years, then im retiring to some 3rd world country to get away from all the bullshit. gonna raise goats, grow vegetables, eat critters just pulled from the sea, get drunk on homemade rum, smoke home grown dope and fuck all day long

good info guys...I may have to take a piss test too..as I applied for some night jobs here and they are all saying they take piss tests and I filled the application out anyways, thinking, oh well..I never had to do this before so, if I get called in I'll risk it..I drink lots of water, but not enough I bet...it would be funny to fail though and just say "what the hell,sure I smoke some pot on my free time! who doesn't?"..why is it a big deal if you smoke some pot? like alcohol is better for you? so I can drink a bottle of vodka and pass the test and be "worth a shit" work wise, cause I am puking all day?meanwhile..smoking a bowl or 2 before or after work is gonna really fuck me up? the laws in this country are so fucking ass backwards!!!

I wish I lived in Amsterdam!!! but then again..I get in my smokies when I need to...its just lame that its a big deal for employers and if you do get caught with lots of it....which I do not have..