|
 |
|||
|
|
|
|
|
| Forum Home > Industrial music forum - Voice out, loud and clear! > Thread | ||||
|
||||
Author |
Post |
||
Total Topics: 21
Total Posts: 112 |
In all my years on this planet I have often thought of the following question; farts, who needs them? And what part of the body decides if the offending gas will be a fart or burp?
I have also, in my research, wondered; "Why do all my male friends fart out loud when the pressure is too much, yet my female friends will do everything in their power to prevent any display of that smelly outburst. Over the years I have heard my male friends fart in church, in front of girlfriends, wives and anyone in their presence. The suspect or perpetrator, will always laugh at his body flute and then proceed to blame someone else, at that point someone always says; "Who ever smelled it, felt it". Males have no problem expressing their musical genius outloud and in most cases, this public display of wind screams; "Hear me roar, I am man!" Females on the other hand, regardless of faith, ethnicity, age and/or geographical location are seldom heard expressing their bodily functions, i.e., fart. I, for instance have only heard my wife fart twice in our entire 13 year marriage. With the exception of my mother who would fart so loud small animals would run for cover. In some cases, the animals could sense a shift in the their immediate environment and would scurry away before my Mom could unleash her windy fury. So why do women repress and men express? It's not like my parents ever told my siblings or myself;" Only men can fart openly and women must find a secluded place and then let it rip." But somewhere my sisters, wife and female friends where socially conditioned to hold back their gas for fear of public ridicule and even possible banishment from society. And if women are banished from society for expressing a public display of fury, where do they go? I would have to assume that somewhere on this planet there is an island full of females who are dancing on the beach, banging their coconuts and letting it rip, out loud, for they have finally been able to accept that, yes, I am female, and yes, I can fart! So if you should see a raft in the ocean, full of women, more than likely they are returning to society pissed as hell and they are expressing that anger out of every orifice of their body. This is what happens when you have way to much time on your hands at work Jul 28, 06 | 3:57 pm
|
||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 8 |
As a woman, I can say that I plainly don't it to the extent of my boyfriend. He a lots more, and he drinks a lot more beer than I do. It's probably a lot to do with diets.
Nonetheless my boyfriend isn't a fart-fanatic, or fart-natic, like some smelly boys :) Jul 28, 06 | 4:18 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
As a parent I would like to offer this advice. Don't fart in your kids face. It will come back to haunt you for many, many years.
See, when my daughter was very young I would fart in her face. Most of the time is wasn't intentional. She stood at the same height as my butt, so in some instinces she might be behind me and I would let one rip, in her face. And regardless of my sign on name, my gas does not smell like butter. Well, as karma goes, I'm paying for it now. She is 12 and her memory of my backfires unleashed upon her is very, very good. She farts in my face daily. Sometimes hourly. Right now it's not so bad becuase I can run away. But when I'm old and grey and unable to react as quickly I fear my aging body will not be able to move from harms way in time. But hopefully my sense of smell will dull over time. So parents, DO NOT FART IN YOUR KIDS FACE! They will return the favor with interest, lots and lots of interest. And even after you have paid back your debt, they will continue to unleash their anger over those early years. I have two younger daughters and you can bet your ass I DO NOT FART IN THEIR FACE. If I could only go back in time I would take it all back.... Jul 28, 06 | 4:45 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 18
Total Posts: 899 |
I like google ad under this one... Fart Machine! For fuck's sake....
Jul 28, 06 | 5:08 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 11
Total Posts: 970 |
greatest. thread. evar.
Jul 28, 06 | 5:32 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
"farts, who needs them?"
the air must be released. & a body modification connecting the digestive system to the lungs for the purpose of releasing gas would just be gross. not to mention would probably kill you. "And what part of the body decides if the offending gas will be a fart or burp?" your stomach. if the air hits you intestines it's a fart. better to burp & get it overwith. ""Why do all my male friends fart out loud when the pressure is too much, yet my female friends will do everything in their power to prevent any display of that smelly outburst." first off not all outbursts are smelly. this is highly dependant on diet & stress. i'm convinced womens fart retention is a social thing. i've gotten "comfortable" with a few woman over the years & once they know theyre not going to scare you off or shatter any illusions they start letting em rip. i'm sure the womens bathroom is a blastorama. Jul 28, 06 | 6:02 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 21
Total Posts: 112 |
Stevil,
That's a great observation. Do other women, when together, let it rip? Jul 28, 06 | 6:09 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
What's the big deal, it's all perfectly natural. People are hung up on social protocol...>-)
Jul 28, 06 | 7:19 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 21
Total Posts: 112 |
Um...this is a joke thread....not for the serious....thanks for pointing out farts are natural....I didn't know that before...
Jul 28, 06 | 7:49 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
*yawn*
Jul 28, 06 | 8:17 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 44
Total Posts: 1152 |
This was definitely a deathkey thread, and has no place on a forum like this.
Admin: please remove ASAP. *lets a freakin ripper* -------------*co workers vacate immediate vicinity* Jul 28, 06 | 8:26 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
How dare you *yawn* in daysoflights face.......If I was there I would fart in your face......Good day sir!
Jul 28, 06 | 8:50 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 6
Total Posts: 240 |
Even if it's a joke, some knowledge to drop on you.
Farts are caused by the processing of food that has been ingested in the lower intestines. Generally it is from fructose or other sugars being metabolized by the local bacteria in your bowels that break food down into base nutrients that can be absorbed by the lining of your intestines. The bacteria usually creates methane, which is a rather smelly hydrocarbon gas and will bond and carry small particles of other waste in it at body temperature. Thus, a fart is a combination of methane and other waste gases from the processing of food in your body. The other option is called a queef, but that usually only happens during plunger butt sex. Jul 28, 06 | 8:52 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
Well that last post took the fun out it.....But now that I have the above knowledge, I will never smell farts quite the same way again.....
Jul 28, 06 | 9:00 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 11
Total Posts: 970 |
can anyone explain why doo doo is brown?
Jul 28, 06 | 10:32 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
Another good question, Why not blue or purple poo poo, maybe even rainbow color. But nooooo, its gotta be brown.
Also, why not just call toilet paper what it really is, "Shit Be Gone Paper". You know what I mean? Jul 28, 06 | 10:46 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 41
Total Posts: 894 |
I've had blueish green poops before, try drinking a 6 pack of that ultra-blue gatorade stuff, that'l do the the trick!
Jul 29, 06 | 8:41 am
| ||
Total Topics: 32
Total Posts: 7408 |
Why are ventriculists exclusively male?
Jul 30, 06 | 11:32 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 234
Total Posts: 4299 |
Jul 31, 06 | 5:03 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
Jul 31, 06 | 7:04 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 32
Total Posts: 7408 |
@ Stevil
There is always an exception. :-) Aug 01, 06 | 2:19 am
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
I love you shari :)
 ]Aug 01, 06 | 3:48 am
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 30 |
i fart infront of my boyfriend all the time, infront of anyone, sometimes it just needs to come out. i lived with boy roomates for a lot of years, so im not shy about it anymore.
when i was little my stepmom always got mad if i farted in a room with people in it. she would tell me to go to the bathroom to fart. that never made any sense to me. seemed like a long walk for a little gas. Aug 01, 06 | 7:28 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
daysoflight - "I have also, in my research, wondered; "Why do all my male friends fart out loud when the pressure is too much, yet my female friends will do everything in their power to prevent any display of that smelly outburst. "
Can I have your female friends!!! Aug 01, 06 | 7:30 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 11
Total Posts: 970 |
eww, girls who fart are grody and totally un-rad
Aug 01, 06 | 7:42 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
o_0
Aug 01, 06 | 7:47 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 30 |
well dan, now you know how girls feel when you just let one go.
my roomate used to pin me to the couch and fart on my head, it was some kind of charming. he also made fun of me when i did fart because it wasnt a rumbling ripping your asshole apart sort of sound. Aug 01, 06 | 7:59 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
roxymonoxide - "because it wasnt a rumbling ripping your asshole apart sort of sound."
You only get those if you have a fat arse. Aug 01, 06 | 8:03 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 30 |
not true, he was skinnier than me and his farts were always loud, like sharts (that might just be a word we made up, its like when the fart sounds like a little something else came out with it.)
Aug 01, 06 | 8:09 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 0 |
Aug 01, 06 | 8:18 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 32
Total Posts: 7408 |
PPffrrrttthh!
Aug 03, 06 | 11:53 pm
| ||
Total Topics: 81
Total Posts: 1763 |
"....With the exception of my mother who would fart so loud small animals would run for cover. In some cases, the animals could sense a shift in the their immediate environment and would scurry away before my Mom could unleash her windy fury...."
LMAO....sorry, but these lines made my day! I was really laughing loudly when I read this. :-) Thank you, daysoflight! Aug 05, 06 | 3:03 pm
| ||
